I have been standing by waiting for the multitude who I am told are busily knocking on doors and inviting citizens to sign a pledge of allegiance to the President and his dangerously socialist, freedom restricting, free market destroying policies.  I have something special planned for them.  I am curious, however.  Is this legion comprised of the same people that hope to be able to show up at the doors of non-union workers and intimidate them into voting for a union they may not want?  While pondering that, the old Fats Domino tune, I Hear You Knockin’ popped into my head.
 
“You went away and left me long time ago
Now you’re knockin’ on my door
I hear you knockin’, but you can’t come in
I hear you knockin’, go back where you been”

First, let me assure you that as long as there is breath and a heartbeat in this body and my soul remains free of Faustian influence, I will not pledge allegiance to any mortal man.  Especially the lying, thieving vermin variety of mortal man that is now common to Washington, DC and its elitist sport of politics.  I do pledge my allegiance to some ideals of which I have grown fond.  Time honored and proven ones that are at the center of our national soul.  In God We Trust and the ideals of Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness that many have sacrificed their lives to protect and defend come to mind.   For years America has been stuffing God into its collective closet while bringing all manner of beliefs out of it.  How many times have you heard of someone being vilified for wearing his religion on his sleeve by a person who proudly wears his commitment to deviancy on his or hers.  God and those quaint ideals of individual liberty viewed as critical to our nation’s core by our founding fathers have never been more in peril of being lost to Americans than they are presently.

Just the other day, I was watching episode 3 of the Star Wars saga.  If you are curious, I have yet to watch all the episodes in sequence.  Although recent life events have provided me with the brain numbing time to do so if I choose.  In one scene, Luke and Leah’s future mother - and Darth Vader’s future bride – commented, as the Emperor stood before the Senate and declared the end to the Republic and the establishment of the Empire, “so this is how liberty is lost, to thunderous applause.”  I thought it reminiscent of some recent scenes in American politics on which I will let your mind dwell.

Anyway, back to the door knocking multitude.  I thought quite hard about how to best express my position concerning their mission and the general direction politicians appear destined to take our country.  Having figured it out, I went out to the back porch to test it.  Bending forward and pointing my plump rear end east, which from my humble hill side is the general direction of Washington DC, I dropped my jeans.  It turns out that the general direction of Washington DC is also the direction of my neighbor’s property just up the hill.  I heard a little bit of a yelp (a yelp lies somewhere between a gasp and a scream) just before my neighbor’s wife fell over the banister and rolled half way down the hill into my backyard.  I looked up just in time to observe him driving his lawn mower into the wood pile.  Apparently he was so enamored with my exposed hind parts he never saw the wood pile coming.  There has not been that much excitement around the neighborhood since my 85 year old neighbor grabbed the tube of Ben Gay when he meant to grab the tube of Preparation H.

Anyway, legion, I am ready when I hear you knockin’.

© 2009